tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26439155656282518962024-03-13T09:32:57.181-05:00Nonfat Venting With WhipI'm not tall, I'm not grande, I am venting.
With whip...because sometimes you need something light, sweet and fluffy.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.comBlogger258125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-27926195031099599872016-01-15T11:33:00.004-06:002016-01-15T14:53:29.520-06:00It's not funny, anymore. <div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">At first, it was like, 'Am I in an SNL sketch right now? Donald Trump is running for President hahaha yeah, RIGHT.' </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then it was kind of shocking. Omigosh, he's still here. Wow. Well, I'm sure before the primaries, he'll throw his votes to the highest bidder, and bail.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Now, I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. No, I did not eat the whole Costco Party Bag of M&Ms stop bringing that up!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Here's what alarms me: the lack of empathy displayed by these candidates. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Donald Trump yelling at the protestor, "Get outta here! Put him out in the cold. Take his coat!" </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Even more disturbing? Everyone laughed and cheered...at another human being locked outside in the freezing cold WITHOUT HIS COAT. </span></div>
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It's not just Trump, it's all the other candidates *throws shade at Carly Fiorina*. Women's reproductive rights, Syrian refugees, Mexican immigrants...their position on just about every issue demonstrates a lack of empathy that goes waaaaaay beyond the narcissism typical of most politicians. These candidates seem absolutely devoid of empathy.<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You guys. We could have a freaking Sociopath as our President.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> Not hyperbole.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What truly frightens me is how many Americans want Trump to win. Right now, he leads the polls in both Iowa and New Hampshire. Why? What part of his message appeals to us? </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Here it is, and I hate this about our country -- we are still intolerant, exclusionary and racist. We've just been QUIET about it.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Trump gives us permission to be loud, be proud (but not in a good, gay way). </span></div>
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I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that a man so blatantly intolerant and uncaring has so many fervent supporters. He's like a litmus test for empathy, and the results are horrible.<br />
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That feeling in the pit of my stomach is an unpleasant mix of sad and scared.<br />
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Pass the M&Ms.<br />
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Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-30372168815503083622015-07-31T20:15:00.003-05:002015-12-20T19:02:37.803-06:00Princess Dorkwang and the Frogs<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*tap-tap-tap* Is this thing on?<br /><br />I see some of the regulars are still here. Hey, Kevin? Can you give everyone a free round, on me? Whatever they want. And you know my stash? Bring that out. Yes, I'm serious. Dude. I didn't buy 37 Costco Party Bags of M&Ms for no reason. THIS IS A REASON. Nobody likes pretzels, and peanut allergies is a thing, and this is my blog and STOP LOOKING FOR LITTLE BOWLS, Kevin, just PUT THE BAGS ON THE BAR!!<br /><br />You guys.<br /><br />GUYS.<br /><br />What kind of space-time continuum-leap just happened?? I mean, five years ago, I was married, had kids in middle school. ***Ka-BLAMMO!!*** I'm divorced three years, and my son is headed to Milwaukee School of Engineering.<br /><br />I'll spare you the divorce story. That chapter is over. In fact, let's close the book, and put it way up on the tippy-top shelf in the deepest stacks of University of Michigan's Hatcher Graduate Library. I don't even live in Michigan anymore; to open that book would mean at LEAST 6 hours driving in Summer construction and vacation traffic, and NOPE.<br /><br />I'm online dating (segues are so over-rated). I can tell by the blank stares that's like, *so* not a big deal to you Young and Hip Beautiful People.<br /><br />But GUYS.<br /><br />I was married for 18 years. During that time, the Internet happened. Cell phones happened. Texting, sexting, face-timing your Twittersnap InstaTinder happened. I'm Rip Van Winkle waking up to a world of arrested-development men and Twerking.<br /><br />I joined Match, EHarmony, JDate-and-I'm-not-even-Jewish... Dates happened. Some good, some bad. Some made me want to lobotomize myself with a Crazy Straw.<br /><br />I have yet to "match" with my "soulmate." Dear EHarmony, which of the "97 points of compatibility" paired me with the 86 year old gentleman who wrote me to tell me his real name is "Thor?" Oh, </span>I have stories.<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />Scamper over to Facebook, and check out "Princess Dorkwang and the Frogs." Join me on this bumper-car ride of ridiculousness. Read my tales of WHAT IS SHE EVEN TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW. Share your stories.<br /><br />Everyone has a story. No, really. Oprah said. You guys, do NOT mess with Oprah. Stop it stop it right now. You know she has a Book Club. The first rule of Book Club is DON'T TALK ABOUT BOOK CLUB. Shit. I just talked about Book Club. Here come the Oprah drones FOR THE LOVE OF GOD clutch your Oprah Book Club Bible, and say 20 Hail John Travoltas.<br /><br />And please to enjoy, "Princess Dorkwang and the Frogs." May my misadventures in dating make you feel much, much better about yourself.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-49102426483069689322010-03-05T23:13:00.012-06:002016-01-24T15:28:09.212-06:00Forget Comfort Zone; play in your Uncomfortable Zone.I'm a mom, nurse, technically "middle aged" woman and Michael Gellman is teaching me Improvisational Comedy at Second City, Chicago. Pinch me. Make it hurt.<br />
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As I told Godman at last week's class, Improv has been "the most fun I've had in my adult life." His quick response: 'The most fun in your adult life? ... Are you dating??'<br />
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These classes are a gift, really. I started "Improv for Beginners" at Second City last year. For fun. Because my life was in crisis and something made me Google "Second City + classes." Boxed wine made me sign up. The fun I had with Improv made me sign up for Standup. Standup pushed me past fear, through terror and into strength. Possibly delusion. Hot holy Hell, y'all -- I did five minutes in front of 70+ people. And got laughs. Suck it, shyness.<br />
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Michael Gellman reminds me of my Dad, but with extra cussing. Humorous bordering on brilliantly hilarious, intuitive bordering on uncanny, foul-mouthed bordering on George Carlin. Is this Heaven?<br />
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Wait. What? I signed up for what?? I'm not a theater major, as most of my classmates are. Hell, I have two degrees (Journalism and Nursing) and barely use either. I'm a mostly stay-at-home Mom who subs as a School Nurse. I'm shy by nature, have no idea what 'real acting' is, and never set foot on a stage before this (except as a Dogpatcher in a riveting Middle School production of "Li'l Abner"). I don't know how far I can go with this, but that's not the point.<br />
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What I know is that Improv has changed my life. It pushed me out of my comfort zone. It taught me to be in the moment. It made me trust my sense of humor.<br />
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I've made many great acquaintances and one cherished friend. I've laughed harder and more often than I have in many, many years.<br />
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Why is that? In Improv, there is no judgement, no saying "No." The mantra is "Say 'Yes' and the fun will follow." Yes to everything. Accept, agree, trust, release, surrender. On stage, it works. It works better than saying no, or contradicting, or negating. It moves the scene forward. It creates a positive vibe felt not only by the players but also the audience. Negativity and criticism kills. It's "death by a thousand cuts," in my experienced opinion. In Improv and Life.<br />
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It's about relinquishing the need to control, to micromanage, to keep the focus on yourself. Fuck that shit. Focus on your partner. Focus on what's happening RIGHT NOW. What is your partner SAYING? What are they DOING? What is your RELATIONSHIP?<br />
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Yes, it's Improvisational Theater. It's also Life. Stop the Movie In Your Head. Look at who you're communicating with. Listen to them. Watch their body language. Appreciate how they are different from you. Appreciate them.<br />
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Appreciate who you are. Be aware of how you move through space. Listen to your voice as you speak. Look at yourself in the mirror. Be aware of what you're feeling at this moment.<br />
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Now live.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-90472500010352277472010-02-17T09:49:00.011-06:002016-01-24T15:24:18.607-06:00When God Closes a Door...He's being a real jerk.Ok, so in the movie in her head, Whippy fancies herself a Funny Person. Yes, it's an epic film with lots of plots; subplots; an awesome protagonist; one or two antagonists; a tragic flaw or two or seven; even a Christ Figure. Who drinks boxed wine and moonwalks on water.<br />
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I've been taking comedy improvisation classes for over a year and having the most fun I've had in my adult life. Some of my buddies and I auditioned for something awesome and none of us got it. We were told, 'Hey, even Tina Fey didn't make it her first time around.' 'Hey, most people don't.' 'Hey, take another class and try again in eight weeks.' 'Hey, yadda yadda.' It was absolutely a positive albeit slightly humbling experience. Not to mention an amazing teaching opportunity for Whippy's little Whiplets.<br />
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Buddy Boy and GirlyGirl watched Mom's facial expression and sensed every emotion as I read the "We're Sorry But..." EMail. I'm a horrible liar and even worse at faking emotion. It's served me well. Except for that time my brother and I stole loose change out of our Mom's purse to buy candy at 7-11. Ok, it stopped me from pursuing a violent life of crime to feed my Wacky Pack and Slim Jim habit; I should be grateful.<br />
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Woah. Where was I? Right. Teaching moment. So, I explained to the Whipplets, "Hey, ya know what? I'm happy. Because I tried something I was afraid to do, I learned a ton and I had a blast! And ya know what else? I'm going to try again!"<br />
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Later that night, GirlyGirl gave me this:<br />
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Ok, so I had to pry the window open and remove the frame to get my rumpus through, but at least I was able to spot the opening. With a little nudge from GirlyGirl. Thanks, God (hey, your son's an awesome bartender, btw. Can you ask him to lay his hands on the office water cooler?)<br />
*runs serpentine to avoid lightning storm*Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-1980025685612181282010-02-06T10:48:00.009-06:002010-02-06T11:16:47.789-06:00When Chakka Comes Marching HomeGirlyGirl is 10 and loves to sing. She sings all day long. She delights in turning our morning getting-ready-for-school routine into a musical. "Motherrrr...can I have some breakfast please...Oh, nooooooo!! This milk is sour-what-will-I-dooooo..." She's a wonderkind.<br /><br />Her chorus teacher exposes them to all kinds of stuff, which GG then exposes us to. For days. Lots. of. days. Do you know the complete lyrics to Benny Goodman's "Sing! Sing! Sing!"? I do. Oh, I DO.<br /><br />When I'm feeling down and blue, I flash to the visual of GG standing on the arm of our good leather sofa, shimmying like a fiend, belting, "Sing, sing, sing, sing...everybody start to sing...Hi-dee-hi, ho-dee-ho, now you're singin' to and fro..." *shimmy-shimmy-shimmy*<br /><br />This week's musical theme? Civil War songs. Not quite the feel-good raucousness of Big Band, but still. But still -- PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY SHOOT ME IN THE PART OF MY BRAIN THAT WILL MAKE ME FORGET THIS:<br /><br />GG: When Chaka comes marching home again, hurrah HURRAH! hurrah HURRAH!<br />When Chaka comes marching home again, hurrah! HURRAH! hurrah! HURRAH!!<br />The men will cheer and the boys will shout<br />The ladies they will all turn out<br />And we'll all kill dinosaurs<br />When Chaka comes marching home... hahahaha<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9G-BjHRaok"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9G-BjHRa0k</span><br /></a><br /><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://ww.youtube.com/watch?v=xx_E7dIxywY&feature=PlayList&p=1BFF38735F4535BD&index=8">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx_E7dIxywY&feature=PlayList&p=1BFF38735F4535BD&index=8</a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-9995502254317292392010-02-03T08:41:00.007-06:002010-02-03T09:03:44.043-06:00Li'l Ro Ro and JolietSo, this morning I'm helping BuddyBoy study for his "Illinois Constitution" test. Not only does he insist on pronouncing Illinois with a hard "s" at the end, but he keeps saying "Juliet," instead of Joliet. Uh-oh. That's like tossing a ball in front of my dog. Or distracting a raccoon with a shiny object.<br /><br />ME: Joliet is Juliet's street name. hahaha<br /><br />BRAD: What?<br /><br />ME: Li'l Ro Ro and Joliet! hahaha<br /><br />BRAD: What??<br /><br />ME: Yeah, instead of "Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" it's "RoRo! WHERE YOU AT??" hahaha<br /><br />BRAD: Mom.<br /><br />ME: And instead of the Montagues and the Capulets, it's the Montys and the Fat Caps! Instead of drawing swords, they have a dance-off! hahaha<br /><br />BRAD: *rolls eyes*<br /><br />ME: And "Were that I a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek" is "Don't MAKE me smack you with my glove..." hahaha<br /><br />BRAD: Can I have breakfast now?Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-48902972793881379982009-07-03T08:03:00.003-05:002009-07-03T08:07:49.580-05:00I want me a toddler.Whippy is on a little Summer Hiatus. I'll be posting, but not as often. <div>I have a deep, thought-provoking essay in the works...stay tuned!!</div><div><br /></div><div>In the mean time, please to enjoy this:</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs</a></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span></div>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-33887565348997506522009-06-04T10:09:00.009-05:002009-06-04T10:24:08.137-05:00RIP, Koko Taylor<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sifm4JKQFRI/AAAAAAAAA40/qtvo30ujblg/s1600-h/koko.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 276px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sifm4JKQFRI/AAAAAAAAA40/qtvo30ujblg/s400/koko.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343493335104361746" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkyklIiHdlQ"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkyklIiHdlQ </span></a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajEaxCS3iB4&feature=related"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajEaxCS3iB4&feature=related</span></a></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span></div>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-38710322115379357952009-05-24T07:50:00.019-05:002016-01-24T15:22:34.487-06:00Electricity Bill<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShlJtIPosMI/AAAAAAAAA4E/YCOOPU0E29U/s1600-h/bill3.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339379872880439490" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShlJtIPosMI/AAAAAAAAA4E/YCOOPU0E29U/s400/bill3.jpeg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 400px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 376px;" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">(click image to enlarge)</span><br />
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So, I find this flyer stuck in my front door. "ELECTRICITY BILL." Ok, fine. I'll read you. Wait, huh? Really, ComEd (or "F.E.D.314GOLBALNET")? <span style="font-style: italic;">Really?</span> $3,234?? What, for the year?? Don't think so.<br />
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And telling me to turn off "unwanted electricity such as Computers, telivition, etc." ??? Ok, so it's some kind of "Go Green" group?<br />
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And what's with the graph? Seriously?? I show it to huzzband. And hear my children trying to stifle hysterical laughter. Whaaaaaaaaat? Slowly I turn...<br />
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Buddy Boy and Girlie Girl are high-fiving each other and jumping up and down. They made the flyer. GG wrote the "text" and BB found the graph. It's a seismograph. Of volcanic activity.<br />
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I like pudding.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-61055306310288119042009-05-21T13:11:00.020-05:002009-05-21T13:28:27.465-05:00Girly Girl's Field TripHer 4th grade class spent the day at Veterans Acres, an amazing nature preserve about five minutes from where we live (we are so lucky). GG asked if she could bring the camera and how could I say no?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbH6y16RI/AAAAAAAAA28/h5lU8-_UFBc/s1600-h/DSCN4468.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 360px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbH6y16RI/AAAAAAAAA28/h5lU8-_UFBc/s400/DSCN4468.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338343493661485330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWapYPjL_I/AAAAAAAAA20/LV7vc5TURV8/s1600-h/DSCN4442.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWapYPjL_I/AAAAAAAAA20/LV7vc5TURV8/s400/DSCN4442.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338342968990576626" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbbBgPQbI/AAAAAAAAA3U/-nMfukzWDsU/s1600-h/DSCN4453.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbbBgPQbI/AAAAAAAAA3U/-nMfukzWDsU/s400/DSCN4453.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338343821880017330" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbVAdRy2I/AAAAAAAAA3M/a26B9Q0E2OA/s1600-h/DSCN4455.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbVAdRy2I/AAAAAAAAA3M/a26B9Q0E2OA/s400/DSCN4455.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338343718519950178" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbOK-ee0I/AAAAAAAAA3E/_dOWDWKh7NY/s1600-h/DSCN4464.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbOK-ee0I/AAAAAAAAA3E/_dOWDWKh7NY/s400/DSCN4464.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338343601084463938" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbqw7aURI/AAAAAAAAA3k/htQSUNnBqa8/s1600-h/DSCN4448.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbqw7aURI/AAAAAAAAA3k/htQSUNnBqa8/s400/DSCN4448.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338344092308492562" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbgzqEXaI/AAAAAAAAA3c/lsSbT-iBV-o/s1600-h/DSCN4452.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbgzqEXaI/AAAAAAAAA3c/lsSbT-iBV-o/s400/DSCN4452.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338343921242365346" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/ShWbgzqEXaI/AAAAAAAAA3c/lsSbT-iBV-o/s1600-h/DSCN4452.jpg"><br /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-25518085718007581432009-05-18T17:37:00.004-05:002009-05-18T20:17:11.909-05:00Chocolate Cheese Monkeys II: One Nation, Under Yeti.<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dw9FmDaN42RWTbP6q4IbyKpvcdGjAWLcOM9hw_ua72Tovs-fpR91iyuWbsRAUtKqqd3DaxFWPnG36M72ZMfkQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-51632508904235694362009-05-16T21:26:00.003-05:002009-05-16T22:03:25.581-05:00And on the first day, God created chocolate cheese monkeys.<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwasc0lwznp4wr_oD-WC2A7rRqPGRAMhDvL_wZ2_qF4_rrfawuOkOmtZv5qqAEZIC-CMaHFF18t-eG4j8EbVw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-181628039714182062009-05-10T19:18:00.019-05:002009-05-11T05:03:39.342-05:00When Marie Antoinette said, "Let them eat cake," she probably didn't mean this.Mother's Day.<br />My family surprised me with a dark chocolate cake from COSTCO. It's the size of a baby elephant.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdvxYdumMI/AAAAAAAAA0U/V4tGIA5O1UA/s1600-h/DSCN4425.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdvxYdumMI/AAAAAAAAA0U/V4tGIA5O1UA/s400/DSCN4425.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334355177815054530" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This "piece" served four.<br /><br /><br />My delightful children double-dog dared me to, "SHOVE YOUR FACE IN IT!!"<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdwiVMeRNI/AAAAAAAAA0c/F4wNp2ic8xM/s1600-h/DSCN4426.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdwiVMeRNI/AAAAAAAAA0c/F4wNp2ic8xM/s400/DSCN4426.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334356018750964946" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sgdw370sTpI/AAAAAAAAA0k/BNRh92UFoV4/s1600-h/DSCN4429.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sgdw370sTpI/AAAAAAAAA0k/BNRh92UFoV4/s400/DSCN4429.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334356389897457298" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdxKMCZLWI/AAAAAAAAA0s/g2y06fs0XB0/s1600-h/DSCN4430.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdxKMCZLWI/AAAAAAAAA0s/g2y06fs0XB0/s400/DSCN4430.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334356703487536482" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille...<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sgdxbc77P9I/AAAAAAAAA00/MnZddY60uyc/s1600-h/DSCN4431.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sgdxbc77P9I/AAAAAAAAA00/MnZddY60uyc/s400/DSCN4431.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334357000081588178" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Ever the chivalrous DoggyBoyfriend, Potter offers to help me clean up.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdxtYNHrwI/AAAAAAAAA08/iLG6XMZTZxo/s1600-h/DSCN4433.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgdxtYNHrwI/AAAAAAAAA08/iLG6XMZTZxo/s400/DSCN4433.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334357308049174274" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Whippy hopes everyone had a wonderful weekend.<br />Carpe cake.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-73505417296736645022009-05-10T08:45:00.004-05:002009-05-10T10:57:36.089-05:00Suck it, Hallmark.<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span><br />My son made this on our computer.</span>y.</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgbaiWESFYI/AAAAAAAAA0M/SxvjVbxpmhQ/s1600-h/bradmomday.jpeg">(click to enlarge)</a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgbaiWESFYI/AAAAAAAAA0M/SxvjVbxpmhQ/s1600-h/bradmomday.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgbaiWESFYI/AAAAAAAAA0M/SxvjVbxpmhQ/s400/bradmomday.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334191092240881026" border="0" /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-11782871379539078382009-05-09T17:00:00.006-05:002009-05-09T17:09:15.002-05:00Still Life With Roses and DoggyBoyfriend<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgX9PIw8_3I/AAAAAAAAAzU/39DC_WJLbdM/s1600-h/DSCN4414.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgX9PIw8_3I/AAAAAAAAAzU/39DC_WJLbdM/s400/DSCN4414.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333947770182893426" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My beautiful friend, David, gave me these beautiful roses for Mother's Day. My DoggyBoyfriend was happy to pose with<br />them.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgX99lpFl8I/AAAAAAAAAzc/GCyYpmnrKO8/s1600-h/DSCN4417.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgX99lpFl8I/AAAAAAAAAzc/GCyYpmnrKO8/s400/DSCN4417.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333948568208512962" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sort of.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-79072267223380002502009-05-08T09:05:00.004-05:002009-05-08T09:12:22.888-05:00HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU"><br /></a><table style="width: auto;" class="ts"><tbody><tr><td style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 7px;" valign="top" width="1%"><a href="http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DbhcA4Ry65FU&ei=dTwESoQRzZ-YB4Tx1Z0H&sa=X&oi=video_result&resnum=4&ct=thumbnail&usg=AFQjCNFE2Vf8I91lMbZV7fcRuDbrpGYzvQ"></a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU"><img style="width: 133px; height: 110px;" src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/bhcA4Ry65FU/2.jpg?h=60&w=80&sigh=__j7m1KrlaM-FLHWRyh6A8ssQU9EU=" alt="" border="1" /></a></td></tr></tbody></table><!--n--><!--m--><h3 class="r"><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU</a><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekdumRCjchc" class="l" onmousedown="return clk(this.href,'','','res','5','')"><em></em></a></h3><!--n--><!--m--><h3 class="r"><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekdumRCjchc" class="l" onmousedown="return clk(this.href,'','','res','5','')"><em></em></a></h3>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-11081855745433180142009-05-06T09:01:00.005-05:002009-05-07T06:26:12.263-05:00Guess which one's my favorite?<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span><br />This month's Key Word Searches that landed people on my blog:<br /><table class="standard"><tbody><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><br /></td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=%22Bite+My+Cookie%22+"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">5</td><td class="tableContent2Right">6.58%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">"Bite My Cookie" </td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=%22bite+my+cookie%22+blog"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">3</td><td class="tableContent1Right">3.95%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">"bite my cookie" blog</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=bitemycookie"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">3</td><td class="tableContent2Right">3.95%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">bitemycookie</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=bite+my+cookie+lost"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">2</td><td class="tableContent1Right">2.63%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">bite my cookie lost</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=my+dogs+crap+ninja+hauler"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">my dogs crap ninja hauler</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=baby+moose+picture+st+ignace"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">baby moose picture st ignace</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=bite+my+cookie+breakdown"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">bite my cookie breakdown</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=nonfat+venting"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">nonfat venting</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=crazy+lady+with+8+babies"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">crazy lady with 8 babies</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=leno+with+eight++babies"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">leno with eight babies</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=nonfat+blog+whip"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">nonfat blog whip</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=nonfat+blog"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">nonfat blog</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=mofochronicles"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">mofochronicles</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=%22bite+my+cookie%22+crazy"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">"bite my cookie" crazy</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=big+boobies+blog"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">big boobies blog</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=Payback%27s+a+Bitch+mofo"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">Payback's a Bitch mofo</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent2Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=bossy+delilah"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent2Right">1</td><td class="tableContent2Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent2Left">bossy delilah</td></tr><tr><td class="tableContent1Left"><a href="http://my9.statcounter.com/project/standard2/drill_down.php?keyword_term=i+thank+you+god+for+most+this+amazing+free+verse"><br /></a></td><td class="tableContent1Right">1</td><td class="tableContent1Right">1.32%</td><td class="tableContent1Left">i thank you god for most this amazing free verse</td></tr></tbody></table><br />I am totally starting a garage band and calling it Crap Ninja Hauler.<br />Or, My Dog's Crap.<br />Or, Dogs Crap Ninja. DING!<br />Dogs Crap Nina's first single? "Bite My Cookie Breakdown." Featuring Steve Martin on banjo. And Rachel Ray on mouth harp. Cuz, you know she'd rock that thing...<br /><br />To the person who consulted the Googlenets in search of "big boobies blog": I sowwy.<br /><br />Oh. My favorite keyword search? Ironically, it's also the name of Dogs Crap Ninja's second single, featuring Ciara: "Payback's a Bitch mofo."<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-64124980755760338452009-05-05T09:29:00.007-05:002009-05-05T09:35:26.305-05:00It's Box Office GOLD, I Tell Ya!<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span><br />My daughter's in 4th grade and frequently comes home from school with colorful stories about the playground bullies. As Brooke describes it, these boys follow the girls around, singing songs about "lesbians," "manginas" and "you know, ladies who have penises." Right.<br /><br />So, at dinner last night, we were talking about it and what might be the best way to deal with the situation. My 6th grade son, who has always been his sister's biggest fan and fiercest protector, earnestly offers this suggestion:<br /><br />BRAD: You know, Brooke -- just make it like that movie Dad was watching last night...'Book Club.'<br /><br />MOM & DAD: Huh?<br /><br />BRAD: Yeah, you know -- 'Book Club!' "The first rule of Book Club is don't talk about Book Club."<br /><br />MOM: *leaving table, because she just peed a little*<br /><br /><br />Ok, so when Edward Norton makes that sequel, Brad Pitt's character is totally gonna be played by Oprah.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgBNcCGMyfI/AAAAAAAAAzM/tkgKMiMVRTI/s1600-h/MV5BMTY2NTg3ODIwNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODY1Mzc3_002.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 342px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgBNcCGMyfI/AAAAAAAAAzM/tkgKMiMVRTI/s400/MV5BMTY2NTg3ODIwNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODY1Mzc3_002.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332347102801218034" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgBNVxB_09I/AAAAAAAAAzE/0K6s6Okh_qc/s1600-h/oprah_0925.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/SgBNVxB_09I/AAAAAAAAAzE/0K6s6Okh_qc/s400/oprah_0925.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332346995140973522" border="0" /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-81271432705436280222009-05-03T10:13:00.014-05:002009-05-03T10:39:10.352-05:00World Peace and Big Boobies<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/01/miss-californias-breast-i_n_194385.html">Miss California's Breast Implants Funded by Pageant: CONFIRMED</a></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/01/miss-californias-breast-i_n_194385.html"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 260px; height: 190px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sf21M7FdXuI/AAAAAAAAAys/4nhNwz2icMo/s400/s-CARRIE-PREJEAN-large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331616767500181218" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Thank you, Miss California Pageant and Bag of Rocks Barbie.<br />For sending this disempowering AND homophobic message to our sons and daughters: "I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman. And that woman should have giant, grapefruit-halves-bolted-on-a-bony-torso titties."<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-28367323759953308492009-05-01T13:24:00.003-05:002009-05-01T13:25:47.775-05:00Flashdance Monkey<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sfs-fN0ZKUI/AAAAAAAAAyM/i2abT4pt1qs/s1600-h/2637_60481888606_683183606_1511979_3916224_n.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 297px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3nK30G1t2dw/Sfs-fN0ZKUI/AAAAAAAAAyM/i2abT4pt1qs/s400/2637_60481888606_683183606_1511979_3916224_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330923289929394498" border="0" /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-65458052481761677632009-05-01T12:59:00.006-05:002009-05-05T10:46:32.946-05:00Words I've learned from my kids...<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Pwned</span>. As in, "I totally pwned you!"<br />It's like "Owned!" with a P. You know, like <a href="http://nonfatventing.blogspot.com/2008/12/blog-post_12.html"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">this</span>.</a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Beast</span>. As in, "Mom, your potato salad is BEAST!" Which my son actually said to me last night. I was all, 'Whaaaaat?' and he said, "You know, wicked-awesome!"<br />I did not know Buddy Boy was from Boston.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.http://nonfatventing.blogspot.com/2008/12/blog-post_12.html</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-72851569689269891322009-04-30T17:15:00.004-05:002009-04-30T17:28:25.931-05:00Young Jedi LEGO Master<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span><br />Instead of getting ready for bed last night, Buddy Boy sat down on the floor of his room and made this:<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzq9CPHY0H3lHcsWzMnwfL_2u3ZOTUsMF-CmtIdgHzguq2NoWmKPI-benOyhcA9MYfdCreD3NwbiIjZa1EkVw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />I hope he uses his powers for good and not evil. <br />Instead of working for the Department of Defense, he could be the next Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, and build the woman who gave him life the modern dwelling of her dreams. <br /><br />This boy makes my heart 'splode.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-19667019282533121142009-04-29T09:13:00.002-05:002009-04-29T09:15:15.241-05:00*whew*My 9 year old daughter had a nightmare last night. She came into our room and woke me up:<br /><br />GIRLY GIRL: *crying* Mom, I had a bad dream...<br /><br />ME: *scooting over so GG could climb in bed* Oh, honey - what was it about?<br /><br />GG: *sniffles* Dad and I were being chased by a scary witch man-woman.<br /><br />ME: Uh...was it me? *makes mental note to call child psychologist in the morning* What did it look like?<br /><br />GG: Like Mario Lopez.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-53252202690924873582009-04-26T16:29:00.002-05:002009-04-26T16:32:02.480-05:00Once again, I couldn't have said it better myself:<span style="font-style: italic;">Thank you, Steve Marmel:</span><br /><br /><div class="note_header"><div class="note_title_share clearfix"><div class="note_title"><span>Oh, I'm sorry, Texas governor whatcherface. Didn't you want your state to secede? Now you need federal help?</span></div><br /></div></div> <div class="note_content text_align_ltr direction_ltr clearfix"> <div><b>What a difference a couple of week makes. </b><br /><br /></div><div class="photo photo_none"><div class="photo_img"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2127946&op=1&view=all&subj=92222517385&aid=-1&oid=92222517385&id=602736617"><img src="http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs032.snc1/3225_79904011617_602736617_2127946_3501828_n.jpg" alt="" class="" onload="var img = this; onloadRegister(function() { adjustImage(img); });" /></a></div><div class="caption">(Did I say I don't need a federal government? I'm sorry. I uh... hey, look over there! A pony!)</div></div><div class="clear_none"><br />Less than two weeks after raising the prospect of seceding from the union, Texas Gov. Rick Perry is calling on the federal government to come to his state's aid in the midst of the swine flu outbreak.<br /><br />The San Marcos Record reports:<br />Gov. Rick Perry today in a precautionary measure requested the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provide 37,430 courses of antiviral medications from the Strategic National Stockpile to Texas to prevent the spread of swine flu.<br /><br />"As a precautionary measure, I have requested that medication be on hand in Texas to help curb the spread of swine flu by helping those with both confirmed and suspected cases of this swine flu virus, as well as healthcare providers who may have come in contact with these patients," said Gov. Rick Perry. "We will continue to work with our local, state and federal health officials to ensure public safety is protected."<br /><br />Back on April 15, Perry was taking a rather different stance towards the federal government:<br /><br />"There's a lot of different scenarios," Perry said. "We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."<br /><br />He said when Texas entered the union in 1845 it was with the understanding it could pull out. However, according to the Texas State Library and Archives Commission, Texas negotiated the power to divide into four additional states at some point if it wanted to but not the right to secede.<br /><br /><b>Okay, so... first:<br /><br />Texas should be given whatever it needs to protect itself from this thing.<br /><br />The people of Texas shouldn't be punished because their governor is a snakeskin bootlicker.<br /><br />That being said, what a joy it is to see someone have to eat crow so swiftly after being a pandering asshat. It was during the tea party stuff, where some Republicans were doing and saying anything they could to make it seem like they too, were trying to throw off the shackles of our <b><u>DULY ELECTED PRESIDENT, SO WALK IT OFF YOU SILLY CRYBABIES.</u></b><br /><br />Keep in mind, this is one of the same governors that told Obama to keep his stimulus money, you know, because he blah blah blah pander to the base yadda yadda yee-haw.<br /><br />And now, here we are today.<br /><br />So yes, give this fool whatever he needs to protect the people of his state. <br /><br />It's not their fault he's a ten-gallon moron.<br /><br />But it's true: They do everything bigger in Texas.<br /><br />And that includes hypocrisy.</b></div></div>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2643915565628251896.post-22619213335669548952009-04-26T14:54:00.003-05:002009-04-26T14:57:27.187-05:00Ok, let's all settle down...No, you can't get Swine Flu from eating a BLT:<br /><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/key_facts.htm">http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/key_facts.htm</a><br /><br />Which is nice, because bacon tastes guuuuud...<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">.</span>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08253562697046605760noreply@blogger.com0