Have you met my daughter, Don Rickles?

Obama's ahead in the polls that count(opposed to the "Fox News Text-Message Poll," which declare McCain Thunderdome Dominator after every debate).

Let's take a political respite and enjoy some mental sorbet. Allow me to introduce you to Insult Throwdown Master, my eight year old daughter:

  • I love Target. Besides selling babydolls that gurgle, "Islam is the Light"('allegedly'), they offer kickass, cheap clothes. Like my new, $39.99 bomber jacket. Fake leather, faux fur and as Isaac Mizrahi would say, "FABULOUS!" Girlie-girl takes one look at me, rolls her eyes and says, "Mom. You look like you hiked up a mountain...and then fell down it." (insert rim shot here)
  • Family dinner at Chili's. Girly-girl is seven. I notice my fork is fubar -- skewed tines, bent handle. I show it to Cute Blond Waitress, who says, "I wonder how THAT happened??" Girlie-girl deadpans, "Maybe they used it to shave Daddy's back."
You can catch Girlie-girl this weekend at Yuk-Yuk's in Desmoines. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

Your daily George: When people say "Clean as a whistle," they forget that a whistle is full of spit. (NAPALM & Silly Putty, by George Carlin)


  1. Hahah both of your kids have a great sense of humor...they take after their mother! ;)

  2. Oh, that's so nice! My daughter is being "Granny Hip-Hop" for Halloween. Her idea. She got an old lady wig, glasses at the Halloween store. Then saw the Rapper bling(gold chains, etc.) A friend of mine is a dentist and is giving her some dentures that were never picked up...Girly-girl's gonna paint one tooth gold.

    She already came up with a rap: "It's getting hot in herre...so GET OFF MY LAWN!" and she shakes her cane. Oh, and she wants to wrap gold chains around the cane.

    The hilariously disturbing thing is, she looks exactly like the mother in "Sybil," if you ever saw that(Sally Field movie from the '70s...the mother was e-v-i-l. I'll post a picture on Halloween. :D