I'm thankful for Butt Paste.

So, Thanksgiving's almost here and we're sick. Just a cold, but it's at Defcon 2. We're Sicky McSickerson and Hacky McLungBiscuit. Oh, and husband doesn't just have a cold, he's got a Man Cold(watch it in "Today's Link"). I'm actually sicker than he, but I can't complain because he's got a Man Cold!

The most awesome Grandparents in the History of Grandparents, Toasty and Pappa Don, were supposed to spend Turkey Day with us. They cancelled. They're flying out next week to visit my sister and her unbelievably adorably 2-year old, and can't bring the plague with them.

And the upstairs toilet decided to leak through our kitchen ceiling. I just discovered that, despite my request to not use the toilet until Daddy fixes it, my sweet but sometimes forgetful children used it. "But Mom, we didn't FLUSH it!" Right. And that's why the entire upstairs smells like the dark, damp corner of a dirty barn.

Despite these annoyances, we have much for which to give thanks. There's the obvious -- Food, Shelter, Family, Amazing Friends, Dark Chocolate M&Ms... . This year, though, I'm trying to focus on the little things that make my life a lot more enjoyable:

Potter, who doesn't mind when I push him off the bed. Because even though I thoroughly enjoy spooning with my dog(What, you thought Potter was the gardener?), sometimes the bed's just not big enough for a 90 lb Golden Retriever with caustic doggie-flatulence.

Hot glue guns and Q-tips. No, my ears aren't freakishly waxy; my kids spend hours making miraculous structures from these simple tools. It's a hobby born out of desperation. One rainy, whiny day, I tossed an unopened box of cotton swabs on the table and said, "Here. Make something." They called my bluff. Ditto, cardboard and duct tape:

Marshmallows. Sure, they're great in hot chocolate and s'mores, but you can also do THIS with them:

Tomatoes as big as your dog's head, grown organically in your back yard. Planning my garden keeps me sane when winter in Chicago goes bad, usually sometime in February.

I have to stop now; my nose is dripping onto the laptop and Hacky just asked if I could warm up his Honey Lemon Ginseng tea... Lemons! I'm thankful for lemons!

Whatever you're doing this week, I hope you have a wonderful time. If some big things are bringing you down, giving thanks for the little things might help bring you back up.

What's that? The title? Oh, right! Butt Paste! "Boudreaux's Butt Paste" is available at Target and works wonders for my nose area, which is raw from how many times I've wiped it. My NOSE.
Yep, it's real. And it works. On my NOSE.


  1. What a great post. I can't get over the Q-Tip sculpture. It's really awesome.
    Hope you feel better to fight off those Black Friday ninjas! Kidding.

  2. Robin, I lub you. Thank you so much for your great comments. I'm so glad to hear that my ramblings make people smile(sometimes?). :)

    His "Q-tip Castle" is truly amazing. I wish you coulda seen him at work; he goes into this ZONE...doesn't talk, doesn't stop until he realizes he's STARVING or HAS TO PEE. He's the same way painting. It makes me cry to even write about it. :) I think he's got my Mom's buckets-o-talent. I will send you my portrait-in progress...sadly, I lack his confidence and find the flaws in all my work... I'm getting better, though!

    Yeah, our house is a crawling petri dish of putrescence right now. Used tissues scattered everywhere. Huzzband still spiking temps. The doc. took one look and threw Z-packs at us yesterday! :) Thankfully, the kids are good.

    I told Girlie-girl we'd go out today to get the turkey and pies. She goes, "MOM!! You're going to BUY a pie!? You CAN'T! You have to MAKE it!!" Uh...is it considered child abuse to say, 'Bite me' to a child? ;)

    So, if I don't rally my ass soon, the Boxruds may be feasting on cranberry sauce, frozen potstickers and leftover Halloween candy.

    Gobble Gobble.

    Have a wonderful day tomorrow with your family!


  3. PS The photo of the Qtip Castle doesn't do it justice. I'll try to get a better close-up and send it to ya. :) Along w/his latest paintings .

  4. I'm still not entirely sure how I found your blog (somehow through Sara Benincasa and/or Ces's blogs or FB), but I'm so glad I did. You're hilarious! If Erma Bombeck and George Carlin had produced an illicit love-child, I would imagine that child would write like you. Hope you and Hacky feel better soon!

  5. I can die now.

    Ed, those words make me happier than hearing, "Honey, why don't we just cuddle?" from my husband.

    Or, "Miss, can I see your I.D?" from the waiter.

    Or, "Wow, your ass looks amazing in those jeans!" from ANYBODY.

    Thanks, dude. Happy Decapitated Wasilla Turkey Day to you!


  6. PS How amaaaazing are Sara B. and Ces??

  7. Sara B. and Ces are mind-bogglingly talented.

    By the way, the pattern you have here of almost immediately posting a "P.S." to an earlier post makes me laugh because I regularly follow-up conversations with a: "Oh, and another thing..." Like Columbo, but without the wrinkled raincoat. Or the glass eye. The unkempt hair is usually a match though.

  8. OK, I think I am in love with Ed,
    of the unkempt hair. And say, you
    "requested" the kids not use the
    toidy till it got fixed? Maybe
    that would be a stellar use for
    the big roll of duct tape left over
    from Buddy's cardboard work:tape
    that bowl shut, little momma.

  9. Yes, but I do drive a '59 Cabriolet and am always asking to borrow a pencil...

    Hey, "Anonymous" -- this ain't Match.com. *blink-blink* Heyyy....are you thinking what I'm thinking?? From now on, NFVWW will be(at least to you), "Whippy's Love Blog."

    I need a theme song. Ed?

  10. Sorry "Anonymous", I'm married. :) But for other folks out there intimidated by the Jonestownish vibe they get from eHarmony, "Whippy's Love Blog" would be a good alternative.

    As for a theme song, it would have to be a toss up between the theme from "Love Story" and "Boombastic" by Shaggy.

  11. Mix it with a little "Love Boat" and it's ON!

  12. PS Now I can't stop singing, "Boombastic!" HA! I may just hafta download me some Shaggy...

  13. Sara B. and Ces are mangy whores! No, but on the reals, thanks Ed and J, and Happy Thanksturkey!