But what will they name it??

Seriously, trying to think of a name that tops Bristol, Track, Willow, Piper and Trig gives me a headache in my eye. Hold on, I have to research something...

...Oh, dear God, the baby-Daddy's name is LEVI. What is going ON up there in Alaska?? I thought it was all manly fishermen, moose and "handsome" women. Now we've got a beauty pageant Governor and kids named after Martha Stewart for KMart paint colors.

That tears it. Oh sure - those brilliant Republican strategists had me and all women figured OUT. I'm a fervent Progressive Liberal and Obama supporter who thinks Hillary would have made a great VP. But because I have a hoo-ha, I couldn't WAIT to vote for the McCain/token vagina ticket.

Yes, I know Palin is a rabid evangelical and says schools should teach Creationism. Yes, I know she has a pageant past and enjoys shooting wolves from helicopters. She's Caribou Barbie and stands for everything I abhor. But she has a va-jay-jay and hey, so do I! That's the ticket for ME.

But now, according to what I've read, Harveys Bristol Cream and Levi Strauss are getting married and I'll bet you a Bible it wasn't Bristol's decision. She's 17. Let's all take a few seconds and try to remember ourselves at 17. .... .... .... Yeah? Got it? I think that's all that needs to be said about that.


  1. Oh, and did you see Levi up there on stage with the rest of the Fam? Did you see his expression? I can totally hear the internal monologuing now: "Nice work, Levi...you had to go trash talking and betting your buddies you could score with the Governor's daughter...then she has to go and get knocked up...nothing a little quickie abortion can't clean up, you said, right? Wrong, because of course she has to go and tell her Mom who's this Jesus freak pro-lifer, and what's worse, now she's up for Vice President and has to show all her Jesus freak voters that her daughter's keeping her baby which means now YOU have to MARRY her to keep the FOTF Jesus freaks happy, and it isn't like you can say it's not yours and sneak away because NOW you're STANDING UP ON STAGE IN FRONT OF 250 MILLION PEOPLE so they can all see EXACTLY who you are and laugh because YOU DIDN'T PULL OUT IN TIME!!! Wait until your buddies find out that you're gonna have a brother-in-law named TRACK."

  2. FOTF?
    Freaking Old Transgendered Fanatics? Friends of Tom Foley?

    Seriously, though - I don't know what conversations have transpired among the Palin/Levi Strauss families. Frankly, I don't care; Bristol's choice(sadly, I doubt it really is HER choice) to marry Levi is none of my business.

    What I find abhorrent is (again)Palin's hypocracy. She said she wants to keep her children out of the spotlight. The lights are shining pretty darned brightly on stage at the nationally-televised Republican Convention. Where all five children(no, I'm not mentioning their names...it gives me a headache in my eye) stood with Mom.

    I felt sick watching the frequent camera shots of four-month old Trig(ouch! My eye!) being passed around from Todd to Bristol to Bark... And yes, Levi Buttonfly looked like he wanted to throw up in his mouth.

    I was and still am one of Hillary's biggest fans. Funny, even though I'm a proud vagina-American, I abhor everything Sarah Palin represents. From evangelical intolerance to Family Values hypocracy to neglectful mothering.

    Yes, Sarah Palin is a bad Mother. A good Mother doesn't leap back to work 72 hours after giving birth to a compromised child. A good Mother does not force her pregnant 17 year old into the National spotlight. A good Mother does not use her children as props.

    This is a family in crisis and Sarah Palin's actions reveal her #1core belief: "It's all about meeeeeee!"