Time to get out Bon Jovi's Greatest Hits.

Girlie Girl refused to play a certain Christmas carol on the piano this afternoon, even though her teacher assigned it.

GG: Mom, it's just...kind of a BAD song.
Mom: Wha' huh?
GG: It's, you know...INAPPROPRIATE?
Mom: Why, honey??
GG: You know, Mom...'Angels We Have Heard on HIGH?'

Speaking of inappropriate Holiday tunes, what the hell kind of g.d. Christmas song is "The Shoes?" You know -- the one where the poor boy begs for money to buy shoes for his Mom, who is DYING, because he wants her to look beautiful "...when she meets Jesus toniiiight." The only "SHOES" I wanna hear are the ones hitting Bush's fool head. I blubbered for ten minutes and had to eat seven sugar cookies with frosting to cheer myself up.

So, I'm still wiping tears and blowing my nose when the next song starts, the "Linus and Lucy" Charlie Brown song. Emotional whiplash, anyone? You can't go from a dying Mommy to dancin' Snoopy! What's wrong with these evil spin monkeys?? You need a transition tune! Clay Aiken's, "Mary, Did You Know?" would have been just fine. Celine Dion's, "O Holy Night?" Perfect.

Even Girly Girl's favorite Christmas song this year would be acceptable. Would you like to know the song that makes my nine year old daughter crank up the volume and sing along? Faith Hill's, "A Baby Changes Everything." Dear God.


  1. I am disappointed in this post because the title is misleading and I thought there was going to be some Bon Jovi discussion going on ;P

    Didn't he sing a remake of "Please Come Home (for Christmas) and Cindy Crawford was in the video?! Or am I just loosing it?

  2. That was pretty evil of me, wasn't it? ;)

    Yes, yes he did make that vid. If I knew how, I'd photoshop Cindy out and me IN. Just swap heads, actually. A girl can dream, can't she? *sigh* Mmmmmmm, Bon Jovi....