Have you met my daughter, Completely Inappropriate Girl?

warning: The surgeon general has determined that this story, while completely true, is horrifyingly disturbing on every level.

(backstory: Brooke and Brad really, really dislike the actress/songstress/seductress that is Hannah Montana, "...because she's 16 but she acts like she's so old...like twenty, or something." I find that pretty insightful for a couple of tiny monkeys.)

So, it's Sunday night. My chillens have been hopped-up on sugar for the past three days and are crashing... 3...2...1...now. They've been alternately laughing hysterically and hurling peanut M&Ms at each other. Because my daughter, age 9, wrote this lovely "What Would You Do?" question about her brother, age 11:

If Brad had to go to the Bathroom realy Bad But the Bathroom Door was locked. What would he do? There is no door unlocker or any other Bathrooms. And the door was made of steel so you couldnt Bash the Door with a sludge hammer and hannah-Montana is watching you and standing right next to you? So whats your answer? And you have no other pair of pants or clothes or anything Because Hannah-montana wizzed her Pants 33 times so she had to Borrow your close.

Anser: Pee on hannah-Montana when she is unconches.

If you'll excuse me, I have to do some Internet research. There's got to be a Mexican pharmacy that can Fedex me some Xanax...

And now, for something Completely Uncalled For.

Your Daily George:

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm. George Carlin